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Don't Wonder Why, Because Then You'll Need to Know How

Post this one under the WHAT THE FUDGE files.

Police in Stratford, Connecticut arrested an 81-year-old man on Monday.

According to the Associated Press, he was charged with public indecency, because he was allegedly "performing a sex act with some shrubbery."

As the story goes, the man was in his yard with the shrub. A neighbor videotaped the performance, called the man out, the man covered himself up with the top of a barbecue grill and went into his own house.

Here's hoping the barbecue grill wasn't in use at the time, otherwise we've got an entirely different weinie roast going on.

He was released on a $10,000 bond and has to return to court on August 5.

And according to the story, he didn't immediately return a call to the Associated Press.

Gee, I wonder why...
 
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Teaching Center, with Key & Peele

Keegan-Michael Key & Jordan Peele are behind the best sketch-comedy show on TV right now.

Their latest sketch applies the metrics and showmanship of ESPN's Sports Center to the world of teaching.

What if teachers got as much interest and as much pay as professional athletes.

What a world that might be, huh?

And thanks to Key & Peele, we know how it would be covered.

A+, boys!

 
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Duck... No, Really, Duck

One of the coolest things about America's Got Talent is when they stumble upon someone who's got a fresh take on an old talent.

For instance, ventriloquism. Guy talks for himself, and his puppet.

Great. You don't often get the sense that the puppet's real.

But you do with this guy - his name is Paul Zerden, and his puppet is a baby.

A cantankerous little fellow who wants a bedtime story, but doesn't like scary things, so Little Red Riding Hood's wolf has to be replaced by a yellow fluffy duck.

Very clever routine, and very nicely rewarded at the end too. Check it out.
 

Congratulations Paul Zerdin (and child) on getting Marlon Wayans' #GoldenBuzzer!

Posted by America's Got Talent on Tuesday, July 28, 2015
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Mystery Solved?

"A huge break in the biggest aviation mystery in decades," says NBC News reporter Tom Costello.

Debris likely from an airplane has surfaced on Reunion Island, about 600 miles away from Madagascar in the Indian Ocean.

Investigators from Boeing believe it's a fragment from a Boeing 777, and the only Boeing 777 currently missing in the world is Malaysian Airlines Flight 370, which was lost over a year ago, presumably in the Indian Ocean.

Mystery solved? Not yet, say the experts, as there's still a lot of work to do. But it's the first solid clue they've had to work with since the plane disappeared with 239 people aboard.

Stay tuned...

 
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What Would You Do on a Plane?

Tituss Burgess and Jane Krakowski, stars of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, were sitting on a plane - at least it looks like they're on a plane - with the show's creator, Tina Fey.

Beyonce's "Flawless" came up on someone's playlist, so obviously, the three of them had to lip-sync to it.

I mean, wouldn't you?

 
 

I love @beyonce #nofilter #jetlife #unbreakle #netflix #janegetontwitter #tinaiknowyouwon't #peenonoir

A video posted by Tituss Burgess (@titusssawthis) on

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Tags :  
Topics : Human Interest
Social :
People : Jane KrakowskiTina FeyTituss Burgess




 

You WILL Have Fun at the Beach

It's summertime, so that means beach time.

For those without kids, no big deal.

For those with kids, you need a degree in project management to pull that off, and even that won't help.

Freelance writer Robyn Welling, a New York Times bestselling humorist, put together a fun little video that will hit home with any parent who's ever had to pack up the kids for a day at the beach.

 

Can you relate? Then follow Robyn on Twitter.
 
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Dang Me, Dang Me, Oughta Take a Rope & Hang Me...

Talk about dedication.

A group of anti-drilling activists are putting themselves on the line - quite literally - to block an ice-breaking ship for Shell Oil from leaving Portland, Oregon.

The ice-breaker is needed to help Shell get where it needs to be to drill in the Arctic, but the folks at Greenpeace have different plans.

Thirteen of them rappeled off a bridge under which the ice-breaker must pass, and are hanging there, forming a literal human wall.

Reportedly, they plan to stay as long as it takes, and they've got what they need to survive for a bit - including adult diapers.

This could get very interesting...
 

Good Morning Portland with @Greenpeace @RisingTideNA #Fennica icebreaker departure delayed. Can you guess why?

Posted by 350 Seattle on Wednesday, July 29, 2015
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Tags :  
Topics : Environment
Locations : OregonPortland
People : Gary Braasch




 

Lion on the Loose

Folks in Milwaukee report seeing a big cat prowling the neighborhood.

One woman managed to get a video of it.

They're calling it the Milwaukee Lion - clever, don't you think?

There are all sorts of theories on it. The two biggest:
 
(1) Could be a young African lion purchased as a pet and let loose.
(2) Could be a cougar, as cougars are becoming more comfortable in the Midwest.

Folks at the Milwaukee County Zoo checked - all their lions are accounted for.

 

Here's some fun news. The Milwaukee Lion has a Twitter account. And he's having some fun.
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Blake Shelton Kicks Miranda Lambert To The Curb!


A California clothing maker is claiming that he needs to see a whole lot of Taylor Swift for legal reasons… specifically, her chest and booty area. The clothing maker is suing Taylor Swift for copyright infringement and has requested all photos and videos where her chest is "partially visible" and her "buttocks are at least partially visible." Taylor Swift loves the number 13 and the clothing maker is claiming that she's trying to promote and sell t-shirts and greeting cards that had his brand, Lucky 13, over a shamrock design. Taylor Swift's team thinks the whole thing is crazy. They're claiming that the clothing maker is using "harassing tactics" and has bombarded Taylor Swift with legal requests when she has barely any involvement in making the products in the first place. The whole thing just seems awkward and far-fetched.

The dream is still alive! We've heard rumors that the Olsen twins want nothing to do with Netflix's Full House reunion. Well now I'm hearing the opposite! Even though the show is already shooting, Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos says its still possible that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen will join the rest of the cast. He said, "The Olsen twins are teetering [on] whether or not they'll be around. There's a bunch of opportunity for them if they choose to. But they're not in the current creative." So pretty much what that means is… they'll show up if and when they feel like it! That's better than a big fat NO though, right?

Macklemore has kind of been M.IA. lately. So, where has he been? First off he became a father but Macklemore also revealed that he relapsed last year with sleeping pills and marijuana. He explained that he was feeling the pressure of fame and needed to "escape." Macklemore said, "I held it together for a while. But, eventually, I stopped going to my 12-step meetings. I was burnt out. I was super-stressed. We weren't sleeping – doing a show every day, zigzagging all over the country." I can understand why he needed to escape! Your health is your number one priority! Macklemore is now sober and is planning on releasing new music later this year.

Get ready to see The Bundys again! A Married With Children reunion is in the works. David Faustino, who played Bud on the sitcom, is developing a "spin-off" of the series. All that needs to be worked out is some legal issues. Also, the whole cast is on board to be involved in some way, including Christina Applegate! Maybe the spinoff will be called Married With Grandchildren? Who knows!

Nothing is impossible if you ask Tom Cruise! The 53-year-old was at the New York City premiere of Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and he admitted that he wants to be agent Ethan Hunt for at least three more decades. When asked what age he would stop, Tom Cruise said, "I'm thinking about 90, then I'll cap it off. Something like that. They will be throwing me out of planes in my wheelchair at that point, so whatever it takes, we'll keep going!" If you can keep making that money, why not!

The arrangements for Bobbi Kristina Brown's funeral are underway. She's currently at a funeral home in preparation for burial. The funeral service is set for Saturday in Georgia. Bobbi Kristina Brown will then be buried next to her mother, Whitney Houston, at Fairview Cemetery in New Jersey on Monday. The coroner has everything he needs to continue looking into the cause of death. The investigation is still going on.

Well this is just brutal! Blake Shelton is getting rid of all of Miranda Lambert's belongings from his Oklahoma home, and the proof is in the pictures! You can see all of her stuff sitting on the front porch of his ranch. Miranda Lambert is supposedly moving to Nashville and since she didn't remove her stuff, Blake Shelton ordered his staff to pack up her things and have them taken away! But friends of the former couple are saying that the stuff on the porch are things Miranda Lambert didn't want anymore and she told Blake Shelton to give to charity or whatever he wanted. I don't know about all that.
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This Is Too Cute!


But I can't believe the owner did this for so long haha! Poor pup!


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