Screwy News |
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by Ron Olson
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posted May 15 2012 7:59AM
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What? Its true. On saturday, a 47 yearold man was shopping in the garden section of a wlamart in Idaho when a RATTLESNAKE slithered out and bit him on the hand. The hand swelled up the size of a cantaloupe from the venom. No word on legal action....yet. Key word yet.
A man is arrested after protesting an all-u-can eat fish fry that ran out of fish. On friday, a 53 year old man in Wisconsin went to a restuarant for an all you can eat fish fry. But they ran out after he ate 20 pieces. He went back the next day to picket. He was arrested when the cops said hit the highway. He said no. He went to jail.
One out of ten Bank robbers is now female.
The Tanning Mom wants to do "Playboy". They said ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..no thanks.
Virgin Atlantic airlines is going to start letting people use their cell phones during the flight. Life just got better. |
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by Ron Olson
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posted May 9 2012 8:35AM
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On Monday night, police in indianna got a call about a 29 year old dad driving with his four kids strapped to the hood of his car. His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit and he was driving to the liquor store with his four kids, ages four,five,six and seven. They were strapped to the hood of the car because they thought it would be fun.He was arrested |
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by Ron Olson
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posted May 8 2012 8:50AM
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The 24 year old call girl at the center of the Secret Service says the agents were,quote,"stupid brutes" who liked attention, showed off their abs, jumped on the bar and drank vodka like it was water. Sounds like fun to me....
Two construction workers were hospitalized in New Jersey yesterday , after one guy fell into a vat of acid...and his buddy jumped in to save him. Amazing.
There's a guy in Denver selling his motorcycle on Craigslist...to pay for his wife's boob job.
Two guys were arrested over the weekend in Pennsylvania for fighting with knives and a decorative flamingo.
Have a screwy day
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Best screwy news ever: april 3oth
by Ron Olson
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posted Apr 30 2012 8:01AM
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Here we go:
Obiwan Kenobi arrested nine days ago in California for a hit and run.
A 45year old man in poland dumped his dentist girlfriend for another woman...Then, in an extremely poor decision, he kept his appointment for oral surguery with her...and she removed ALL of his teeth while under anesthesia. She's facing three years in prison....and the guys new girlfriend left him..
The search engine Bing did a survey on the top things men put on their "bucket lists'"..and marriage was ninth.
A guy in florida was arrested for having an illegal roadside stand...selling moonshine.
Scients find that POWER is more addictive than cocaine.
Scients confirm that dogs are gullible and cats are manipulative little punks. |
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Warning: don't drink to much COKE and more.
by Ron Olson
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posted Apr 23 2012 6:40AM
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A 30 year old woman dies of a Heart Attack because she drank two gallons of coke a day.
The woman drank more than two gallons of coke every day. That's more than 20 12 ounce of cans a day.
That can cause low potassium, which can lead to irregular rhythms and even heart attacks.
This again; 10 year old boy in Indianapolis was hospitalized after and Olive garden accidentally served him rum.
A mom in texas rented rented a billboard to get her daughter voted prom queen.
Apparently, the most offensive thing a woman can call a man is...creepy.
Thats all for today. |
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Memphis Easter Egg Hunt goes Bad.
by Ron Olson
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posted Apr 10 2012 8:26AM
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Memphis police reported that a man tought a woman was giving her children too much help finding the prize golden egg that contained $7. It was a sunday easter Egg Hunt. Family fun time.
The man and woman argued about 5:35 pm at the Shadowbrook Townhomes. After the man slapped the woman twice, a brawl erupted between the two families. The woman went indoors looking for a knife and came back with a claw hammer. She hit him in the head one time...."down goes frazier"..everybody goes to jail....Let's see knife or hammer for the battle....hammer not a bad choice. What would you use for the easter egg hunt brawl? Something to talk about at work.... |
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Screwy news ; trouble at waffle house
by Ron Olson
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posted Apr 9 2012 7:23AM
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Trouble at Wafle house.shots were fired at waffle House in Georgia...in a disput over someone's facebook relationships status.
A restaurant owner in Laguna Beach, california lost his wallet on sunday...and since he was on his way to pay contractors, he was carrying $10,000 cash. Someone found it on a bench near the beach and turned it into a life gaurd anonymously...with the cash. The lifegaurd also didn't keep the cash. he turned it over to police...and the restaurant owner got all his cash back.
Never underestimate how seriously some people take their Cheddar bay Biscuits. Back on December 30th, at a red Loster in Illinois, a waitress was ATTACKED for bring a table the wrong order. The 20 year old woman who hit her is facing a felony battery charge.....And how was your weekend?
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Snickers is number one?
by Ron Olson
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posted Apr 9 2012 7:14AM
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I just don't get it...How could Snickers be number one. Really. I just don't like the peanut/candy combo. Color me crazy but I think Peanuts should be eaten alone not mixed in chocolate. Three Muskateers is the perfect candy bar....light and frothy...The payday beats Snickers in my book. M&M's really top all of them.
Here's the list of the top ten
1) snickers
2)M&M's
3)Reese's peanut butter cups
4)Hershey's bar
5)Kit Kat
6)Twix
7)3 muskateers
8) Milky way
9) Hershey's cookies and creme
10) Almond joy
it's all good.
ron |
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Dumb people-Dumb crooks and a dumb New trend
by Ron Olson
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posted Apr 4 2012 8:08AM
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Dumb New trend: DIVORCE RINGS...When getting divorced why not give up a ring and get a new one?
Do you think this will work? Most divorce rings are shaped like a broken heart or skull. I think the skull ring has got a certain bang to it....go with it if you feel better.
Early on Sunday, a 21 year old in New York broke into an apartment and stole a ladys cell phone. She called the cops, who texted the phone. And the thief responded with an offer. He'd give the phone back if the woman would HOOK UP WITH HIM. The cops set up a meeting, the guy went there to hook up...and was arrested. nice plan igmo.
If we called 911 everytime fast food let us down, they'd never get a chance to address real crimes. Last week, a 50 year old woman in Tennessee called 911 twice, to complain that a hamburger she'd bought
was, quote "nasty". She wanted the cops to come get her a refund. She was arrested for abusing the 911 system. |
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Screwy news for Monday March 26
by Ron Olson
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posted Mar 26 2012 7:56AM
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In New York, an 83 yer old woman is suing Apple....because back in december, she walked into the glass door of an Apple store and broke her nose. her lawsuit claims the glass walls and doors of Apple Stores are not friendly to older customers because of their fading vision. One million bucka roos on the line.
On thursday morning, a 46 year old connecticut man broke into a steel business and started loading 700 pounds of their scrap metal into his pickup truck. Somehow,he but dialed 911...they used gps to find him. He was caught and arrested. so there.
Dream come true story of the week:On friday morning in maryland, the back door of an armoured truck broke open on the interstate....and $5,700. dollar , make me holler, fell on to the street. About 30 cars stopped to scoop up the cash. It was crazy...no one was hurt or killed.the police said bring the money back and no one gets hurt. right...good luck with that. |
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